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Trump Accepts FIFA Peace Prize, Demands VAR Review of Nobel Committee
FIFA hands Trump a peace award after the Nobel Committee declined to participate in his…
Trump Puts Name on Institute of Peace, Says Nobel Prize Now ‘Basically Required by Law’
Trump stamps his name on peace while turning the building into a courtroom prop.
White House Cuts MPG Standards After Trump Says 50 MPG ‘Sounds Communist’
Trump says high mileage cars show weakness, so America will burn fuel proudly.
Mike Lindell Not Done Losing, Will Try Minnesota Next
Lindell says he is ready to lose again, this time with colder weather.
Court Clarifies Alabama Is Now Allowed Two Losses Per Game, Still Eligible for Playoff Spot
The Supreme Court says Alabama can lose twice per game and still make the playoff,…
Dells Drop $6.25 Billion Into Trump Accounts, Say It’s the Only Way Kids Will Ever Afford Rent
Donald Trump and Billionaires fund kids’ futures because the economy forgot to.
Costco Tells Supreme Court It Cannot Run America on Kirkland Alone
Costco says Donald Trump's tariffs forced America into a Kirkland only supply chain meltdown.
Trump Brags His MRI Shows ‘Most Powerful Organ,’ Won’t Specify Which One He Means
Trump says doctors were amazed, although he cannot tell which body part they looked at.
Horoscopes: Week of December 1, 2025
The planets enter the week in full chaos mode, leaving every zodiac sign scrambling for…
Report Finds Trump Family Totally Innocent After Being Reviewed by Trump Family
A new report clears the Trumps and asks America to rise for a standing ovation.
New White House ‘Media Bias’ Page Lists Reporters Who “Hurt Trump’s Feelings This Week”
A new White House tool exposes the journalists who caused Trump emotional turbulence this week.
Melania Launches Film Studio, Promises Original Stories “Never Before Told by Michelle Obama”
Melania launches a movie empire and promises stories completely unrelated to Michelle Obama in any…
Survey Finds Chicagoans Trust Shirtless Ben Johnson More Than Any Elected Official
Ben Johnson takes his shirt off, the Bears take the win, and Chicago prepares to…
Study Finds Lions Fans Age Four Years Every Holiday Broadcast
Doctors confirm watching Detroit football on Thanksgiving counts as cardio, but only in tragic doses.
Officials Beg Macy’s To Shrink Parade Balloons As Helium Prices Explode
A helium spike sends officials into panic as giant parade balloons empty tanks across the…
Is It Even Thanksgiving If Someone Did Not Get Lost In Costco For Hours?
Researchers uncover the truth about the most chaotic Thanksgiving ritual of all, the urgent Costco…
Pilgrims Would Have Cancelled First Thanksgiving If They Knew About Your Aunt Karen
Historians say the Pilgrims braved storms, hunger, and disease, yet would have turned the Mayflower…
U.S. Reaches Peak Unity: Both Sides Equally Outraged, Equally Confused, Equally Screaming At Bots In Thailand
X’s new location feature just revealed that many loudest “patriots” and “resisters” are bots posting…
U.S. Denies Writing Ukraine Peace Proposal, Rubio Denies Reading It, Trump Denies Denying Anything
Geneva negotiators scramble to explain a leaked Ukraine peace plan that nobody wants to claim.…
FAA Advises Thanksgiving Flyers To Arrive At Airport Three Days Early ‘To Be Safe’
Officials urge travelers to arrive three days before takeoff, claiming it is the only proven…
Horoscopes: Week of November 24, 2025
The planets are fully unhinged this week, turning minor tasks into heroic quests and ordinary…
MTG Quits Congress, Says God Told Her ‘Girl, This Is Getting Embarrassing’
After years of shouting from the House floor and Trump’s comments section, Marjorie Taylor Greene…
Congress Boldly Rejects Socialism, Forgets Medicare, Highways, And Half Their Own Pensions
Lawmakers stood firm against socialism while standing on taxpayer funded carpeting. Their vote signaled moral…
Bible Mentions St. Paul 195 Times, No Reference To Minneapolis
Researchers confirm the Bible references Saint Paul many times but never mentions Minneapolis. The discovery…
DOJ Promises Full Epstein File Release, Just Needs 30 Days To “Windex the Trump Parts”
The Justice Department promises honesty, clarity, and a light surface cleaning before America sees what…
October Jobs Report Canceled, Nation Encouraged To Assume It Was Fine
The Labor Department pressed pause on reality after the long shutdown and asked Americans to…
Experts Confirm THC Safer Than Alcohol, Meth, and Most Prescriptions, Congress Immediately Bans THC
A recent report ranks THC as safer than booze, meth, and many legal meds. Naturally,…
Fans Blinded by the Thigh After Sophie Cunningham’s ‘Dangerously Hot’ Pic Drops
Sophie Cunningham only meant to promote a canned cocktail, but she ended up rebooting the…
Trump Hits Reporter With “Quiet, Piggy,” Internet Responds With Full Hog Roast
Trump snapped at a female reporter after an Epstein question, and the moment exploded online.…
Trump Calls Epstein Files a “Democrat Hoax,” Then Demands GOP Release Them Anyway
Trump now insists the Epstein files are both totally fake and very important evidence that…
