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Trump Calls Epstein Files a “Democrat Hoax,” Then Demands GOP Release Them Anyway
Trump now insists the Epstein files are both totally fake and very important evidence that…
Papa Manning Says Arch Is a Wonderful Young Man Who Should Maybe Try Baseball Instead
Texas hoped Arch Manning would revive a fading season, yet every week brings another hard…
Horoscopes: Week of November 17, 2025
The planets are in full chaos mode this week, turning errands into quests, feelings into…
Trump Says Cutting Food Tariffs Will Lower Prices, Solves Mystery of Why Food Got Expensive
President Trump rushed to roll back tariffs on beef, coffee, bananas, and more after grocery…
Trump Drops MTG Endorsement After Epstein Leaks, Says She “Should Know Better Than To Believe Evidence”
Political loyalty took another hit after MTG pushed too close to the Epstein files. Trump…
Trump Asks Boebert To Block Epstein Files Over “Creepy Men” Experience
Trump’s team reached for the most dependable weapon in their arsenal. They wanted noise, confusion…
Trump Promises $2,000 Tariff Rebate Checks to Arrive February 30th
President Trump promises Americans $2,000 tariff rebate checks by February 30th, a date experts agree…
IOC Protect Women’s Division, Men’s Division Still Exists Without Protests
The IOC says it will keep the women’s category female, the men’s category fine, and…
Trump Administration Says 50-Year Mortgages Will ‘Bridge the Gap Between Gen-Z and the Grave’
Trump proposes 50-year mortgages to make housing affordable by stretching payments beyond the mortal realm.…
Trump Promises $2,000 to Every American Who ‘Stops Asking About Epstein Files’
Trump touts tariff cash as free money while asking the public to forget a very…
Horoscopes: Week of November 10, 2025
The cosmos is messy again — Neptune’s distracted, Mars is reckless, and your self-control just…
Trump Says Naming Stadium After Him Would “Honor Redskins Tradition of Racism”
President Trump says naming Washington’s new stadium after him would “honor the Redskins’ proud legacy…
Trump’s Gold Oval Office Sign Sparks Outrage, Shines Brighter Than National Debt
Trump unveils a new gold “Oval Office” sign as millions lose food assistance during the…
Abbott Threatens 100% Tariff on New Yorkers Who ‘Smell Like Bagels’
Governor Greg Abbott vows to protect Texas from “the spread of gluten-based socialism,” promising tariffs,…
Tom Brady Says He’ll Keep Cloning Himself Until One Finally Beats Eli Manning
Tom Brady insists modern science will do what the Patriots couldn’t: erase Eli Manning from…
Trump Says ICE Raids Need Theme Music in 60 Minutes Interview
Trump told 60 Minutes the raids “haven’t gone far enough,” defending smashed windows and tear…
Kiyosaki: ‘Millions Will Be Wiped Out,’ Adds That He’ll Be Available for Coaching After
The Rich Dad Poor Dad author once again warned of global collapse, assuring followers that…
Study Finds Americans Spend More Time Complaining About Daylight Saving Than It Saves
America’s longest running time war is not with the sun. It is with our group…
Horoscopes: Week of November 3, 2025
The planets are messy this week — Mercury’s gossiping, Venus is petty, and Uranus is…
RFK Jr. Tells Trick-Or-Treaters Candy Causes Autism, Hands Out Vials of His Own Blood Instead
The HHS secretary claims candy causes autism, sugar blocks enlightenment, and a quick vial of…
Patel Defends Using FBI Jet to Attend Wrestling, Claims He Was ‘Undercover as Boyfriend’
Sources say Patel’s “undercover boyfriend mission” required immediate deployment, champagne service, and front row seats.…
Trump Declares Victory After Signing Deal That Solves Problems He Created
Trump touts his latest “historic” deal as a triumph of negotiation, ignoring that it mostly…
Senate Republicans Vow to End Shutdown Once Everyone Agrees It’s Not Their Fault
Senate leaders promise to reopen the government “soon,” once both parties agree which one ruined…
Horoscopes: Week of October 27, 2025
The cosmos is running on fumes this week, yet somehow still found time to meddle…
Amazon Down After Firing Last Guy Who Knew How to Restart It
After laying off 30,000 workers, Amazon’s site crashed because the last human who could fix…
Government Shutdown Halts SNAP, But Trump Finds Spare Change for Argentina
As Americans lose access to food stamps during the shutdown, Trump diverts funds to Argentina,…
Man Proves Strangers Wrong Online, Forgets to Pick Up Kids from School
After a three-hour battle in a Facebook comment section, a man emerges victorious — and…
UNC Falls Inches Short Again, Belichick Blames It on ‘Lack of Cheating Infrastructure’
Belichick blames his latest goal-line loss on the Tar Heels’ “failure to implement basic intelligence…
Trump Jr’s Drone Empire Takes Off While Ethics Crash
A Florida drone company tied to Donald Trump Jr. just landed a major Pentagon deal,…
White House Officially Declares Maple Syrup a Threat to U.S. Sovereignty
Trump has declared maple syrup a threat to America’s freedom, citing “Canadian aggression in breakfast…
