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All the Latest in Family
Report Finds Trump Family Totally Innocent After Being Reviewed by Trump Family
A new report clears the Trumps and asks America to rise for a standing ovation.
Officials Beg Macy’s To Shrink Parade Balloons As Helium Prices Explode
A helium spike sends officials into panic as giant parade balloons empty tanks across the country.
Pilgrims Would Have Cancelled First Thanksgiving If They Knew About Your Aunt Karen
Historians say the Pilgrims braved storms, hunger, and disease, yet would have turned the Mayflower around the second your aunt brought up essential oils and election fraud over pumpkin pie. Future generations now…
FAA Advises Thanksgiving Flyers To Arrive At Airport Three Days Early ‘To Be Safe’
Officials urge travelers to arrive three days before takeoff, claiming it is the only proven method to prevent emotional collapse during the holiday rush. Passengers are advised to pack snacks, patience, and a…
Man Proves Strangers Wrong Online, Forgets to Pick Up Kids from School
After a three-hour battle in a Facebook comment section, a man emerges victorious — and 47 minutes late to pick up his children. His wife calls it “his proudest loss yet.”
Mom Says “We’re Leaving in 5 Minutes,” Secretly Begins 45-Minute Exit Process
Local mom’s “five minute” warning accidentally triggers 45-minute departure marathon while dad stands silently holding keys.
Woman Hospitalized After Husband Says ‘Sydney Sweeney Can Fit In These, So Can You’
A MAGA husband is under fire after insisting his wife could fit into Sydney Sweeney’s American Eagle jeans. The incident ended in tears, paramedics, and a denim boycott.
Newly Married Couple Adds Third Throw Pillow, Marriage Officially in Trouble Already
The honeymoon is over, and so is marital peace, after one couple introduces a third decorative pillow into their living room.
Biologists Classify JD Vance’s Jog as New Species of Flightless Flail
Vice President JD Vance’s strange Disneyland jog has been classified as a new species of movement, somewhere between a duckling and a haunted marionette.
