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All the Latest in Entertainment
Melania Launches Film Studio, Promises Original Stories “Never Before Told by Michelle Obama”
Melania launches a movie empire and promises stories completely unrelated to Michelle Obama in any way, shape, or speech pattern.
Fans Blinded by the Thigh After Sophie Cunningham’s ‘Dangerously Hot’ Pic Drops
Sophie Cunningham only meant to promote a canned cocktail, but she ended up rebooting the sun. Fans begged for hydration tips while analysts tried to understand how she broke engagement charts without even…
Danica Patrick Blasts Bad Bunny: ‘The Only Spanish at the Super Bowl Should Be Doritos’
Danica Patrick called Bad Bunny’s halftime show “a threat to American values,” insisting halftime acts stick to English, country music, and tailgate-approved beverages.
FCC Declares Only Punchlines Approved by Department of Homeland Laughs Allowed
Trump’s FCC unveils a Department of Homeland Laughs, suspends Kimmel, and promises America only safe, patriotic punchlines from now on.
Disguised Druski Blends In at NASCAR, Accidentally Becomes MAGA Hero
Druski went undercover at NASCAR in full white face and denim overalls, but the skit went too well. Fans mistook him for a local leader and accidentally promoted him to precinct captain.
Disney Quietly Hires Furries, Says They’re the Only Ones Who Actually Enjoy Sweating Inside a Giant Mouse Suit
Disney leans into chaos, turning theme parks into a cross between Comic-Con and a litter box.
Beastie Boys Sued After Brass Monkey Found to Be Just a Hungover Lemur in Costume
Fans file suit after learning the “brass monkey” wasn’t brass, funky, or a monkey
Netflix Accidentally Uploads Billy Madison 3 in Place of Happy Gilmore 2, Nation Doesn’t Notice for Eight Hours
Netflix accidentally uploaded Billy Madison 3 instead of Happy Gilmore 2. America didn’t notice until hour eight.
White House Labels South Park ‘Leftist Terror Cell,’ Orders DHS to Monitor Kenny
The Trump White House has labeled “South Park” a “leftist terror cell” after a brutal season premiere and filed a $5 billion lawsuit seeking both cash and Satanic conjugal rights.
